NAME GAME

The whole "What to call you" conundrum is really complicated when you don't share the same surname as your spouse. I have one last name, Robert and the kids, another. So it seems like no one in the school set...teachers included...know how to address me.

I grew up in New York, where I STILL call my friends' parents Mr. and Mrs. ______ But having been in the South for some time, I have learned that the way many resolve it is to simply go with Ms. Whatever-Your-First-Name-Is. In my case, it's Ms. Julie. I think it has to do with Southern manners and gentility or something. But it's a nice segue. Ever since my kids were babies, we have refered to our adult friends as Ms. or Mr. First Name. So that's the moniker my kids reach for first. Preschool teachers are always called Ms. Beth or Ms. Kelly or Ms. Stacy -- and so are the moms. It's kinda funny when an old friend comes over who has a nickname from the past ... I am thinking about my college pal Sue whom we refer to as Krabby. My kids call her Ms. Krabby.

But in elementary school, the drill changes...The teachers use their last names. Ms. Tracy morphs into Mrs. Smith. Now the confusion comes in for the kids on what to call their friends' parents. Do you stick with what you've been doing, or move up to the more proper Mrs. Smith version. Half of those who called me Ms. Julie in preschool still do, the others now call me Ms. Vargo. The newest friends might call me by my son's or daughter's last name...or "Hey" and just start talking. Still others, and these I love, call me "Mrs. Graham's Mom" or "Mrs. Amanda's Mom."

You know what, I guess I don't really care what they call me at this stage as long as they aren't rude and are still talking to me!